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Today marks five years since my last ED residential treatment discharge, and I kinda woke up bummed that I’d “ruined” my recovery streak this year. After my tiny pity party though, I started thinking about recovery and what it really meant to me. If I chose to define recovery as new responses to familiar stimuli, well heaven knows this year was full of those... * Reaching out for help when I first needed it instead of waiting years to speak up. * Deciding to do this outpatient not just in words but in action too. Previously when I said I didn’t want residential it was because I didn’t want to get better. This time I truly believed the best setting for recovery was outpatient, and I’d like to think I’m proving everyone that said it couldn’t be done wrong. * Working with a team that is trauma informed, and also helped me recognize this relapse as a trauma response so I truly could choose a different reaction in the future. * Deciding not to hide. Dear old Ms. Renee (IYKYK) always used to say “You’re only as sick as your secrets and your secrets keep you sick”. She was so right and I believe that sharing and opening up laid groundwork for the connection that has allowed recovery for me. * Letting go of all rules. This is the first time in recovery that I haven’t replaced an obvious ED rule with something slightly more socially acceptable. So... maybe this is still recovery. All the cliches about recovery not being linear, and setbacks being a part of it, and different layers in recovery - maybe they’re just our chance to choose a new response. 5 years of choosing recovery over and over again. 5 years of keeping a commitment to stay out of residential. 5 years of being a god d*mn cheetah unicorn! 🦄 #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #edrecovery #recovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #atypicalanorexia #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #ocd #ptsd #cptsd #therapyiscool #endthestigma #somaticexperiencing #somaticpsychology #traumarecovery #traumahealing #traumainformed #trauma #selfcare #selfcompassion

Today marks five years since my last ED residential treatment discharge, and I kinda woke up bummed that I’d “ruined” my recovery streak this year. After my tiny pity party though, I started thinking about recovery and what it really meant to me. If I chose to define recovery as new responses to familiar stimuli, well heaven knows this year was full of those... * Reaching out for help when I first needed it instead of waiting years to speak up. * Deciding to do this outpatient not just in words but in action too. Previously when I said I didn’t want residential it was because I didn’t want to get better. This time I truly believed the best setting for recovery was outpatient, and I’d like to think I’m proving everyone that said it couldn’t be done wrong. * Working with a team that is trauma informed, and also helped me recognize this relapse as a trauma response so I truly could choose a different reaction in the future. * Deciding not to hide. Dear old Ms. Renee (IYKYK) always used to say “You’re only as sick as your secrets and your secrets keep you sick”. She was so right and I believe that sharing and opening up laid groundwork for the connection that has allowed recovery for me. * Letting go of all rules. This is the first time in recovery that I haven’t replaced an obvious ED rule with something slightly more socially acceptable. So... maybe this is still recovery. All the cliches about recovery not being linear, and setbacks being a part of it, and different layers in recovery - maybe they’re just our chance to choose a new response. 5 years of choosing recovery over and over again. 5 years of keeping a commitment to stay out of residential. 5 years of being a god d*mn cheetah unicorn! 🦄 #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #edrecovery #recovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #atypicalanorexia #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #ocd #ptsd #cptsd #therapyiscool #endthestigma #somaticexperiencing #somaticpsychology #traumarecovery #traumahealing #traumainformed #trauma #selfcare #selfcompassion

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #edrecovery #recovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #atypicalanorexia #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #ocd #ptsd #cptsd #therapyiscool #endthestigma #somaticexperiencing #somaticpsychology #traumarecovery #traumahealing #traumainformed #trauma #selfcare #selfcompassion

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