“I had a choice. On the one hand, I could simply choose to be happy. Chose to hold my feelings back, not make a big deal of things that couldn’t be changed, and focus on the positive. On the other hand, I could be honest. Be sad at what made me sad, angry and what made my angry and hate whoever I wanted to hate. Looking around, it seemed so many had chosen to be happy. Social media preached this on a daily basis with optimistic phases reminding me that happiness was a choice. Even my husband seemed to believe that with a positive point of view, miracles could be achieved. It all seemed so rational, and as i looked around me, it seemed the choice that everyone was making. but, to me, it just seemed like betrayal. betrayal to myself, to my feelings. Nobody ever mentioned just how much energy is spent in being happy. It became clear that i was in a trap that was very difficult to escape. The pretending becomes normal, and the truth becomes increasingly estranged as you continue to push it away. I knew that my choice was clear. I needed to take back control of my life. This is easy to do when you are young and there are no strings tying you down.” — Karina on Pain, Ecuador
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