I’ve been wearing my @twloha hat a lot this week to force myself to remember that hope shines brighter than fear (it says that on the back). I took this pic after my final pre-op appointment with my surgeon yesterday when I was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions: relief of some anxiety, love for this doctor who has never once questioned my pain, more anxiety about all the possible outcomes, and a lot of fear surrounding the “what if’s.” I got a call last week and was told that my surgery date had been moved up to April 16th, which is news I have been hoping for for months. The sooner the surgery, the quicker I can heal. But within this news I have been longing for was a lot of anxiety I’m continuing to face: What if this doesn’t help? There are far more uncertainties ahead of me than lay behind me, there are more moments of doubts and darkness that I am currently facing than I prefer, but above all there is hope. I say this after a week full of more tears than I knew I could hold, more moments of feeling like an imposition to the friends I hold close, more appointments than should be in a week, more miles put on my car driving to St. Louis over and over for those appointments, and more severity in my symptoms than I could’ve planned for. The biggest thing I’ve learned in the last year is that in all darkness there is light, which means in all fear there is hope. So here I am, highlighting all of my fears and telling you that in all of the darkness I have been drowning in lately I have seen all of the hope held out for me in all the people who support me. That is all the hope I could ever need, thank you for keeping me afloat. #endometriosis #endo #endometriosisawareness #mentalhealth #endowarrior #chronicillness #chronicpain
#endometriosis #endo #endometriosisawareness #mentalhealth #endowarrior #chronicillness #chronicpain
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