PREGNANCY: When I was 20, I had my first baby. It was, without a doubt, a dream come true. Three months after giving birth, I fell pregnant with my second (they’re 13 months apart). I always wanted to be a mom and have a big family. I never knew how difficult pregnancy could be or the physical and mental toll it took. ———————————————————————————
Being so young, I thought I could treat my body like a garbage disposal and lose the weight no problem once I gave birth. Like I’ve said in previous posts, I never had issues with weight or even losing weight. If I wanted to lose 5 pounds, I’d lose it in a week. Anyways, I treated my first pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted and sit on my bum. I gained 96 pounds, peeking at 246 pounds! Still, I thought it would be no problem and that I’d lose it within 6 months. Almost 7 years later, I’ve only been able to lose 21 pounds. Three kids later, I hate my body. I hate what I’ve become. I hate that I can’t dress up in my clothes. I’m embarrassed of myself. ———————————————————————————
Raising three boys (2,4 and 5) is exhausting. I honestly haven’t figured it out yet and for the longest time, I didn’t take care of myself. I want a fourth baby but I made the agreement with my husband that until I get my body to where I want it and have a healthy lifestyle again, that baby is going to have to wait. Pregnancy wasn’t the thing that destroyed me. It was my eating habits and the lack of physical exercise. It took a mental toll, a physical toll and an emotional toll and to this day, I’m still figuring it out.