People are taught from the very beginning to label everything and everyone. For me, one of the hardest parts of having chronic and mental illnesses is having all of those labels stuck to me like stickers – and the stigma that comes with each label.
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A diagnosis itself is a label that stick to each and every patient. Something that define me and I have at least three diagnosis that is part of my existence right now, which is my pacemaker, my autoimmune, and my depression.
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When I was first diagnosed with a #depression, I wasn’t really understand what it really meant. I thought I was abnormal. But as time passes, I realized this wasn’t abnormal at all. What bother me is the stigma around depression which made me reluctance to talk about it. Not because I’m ashamed, but because it is something that very difficult to explain to others without making them defensive.
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The hardest label for me to get past was my diagnosis of autoimmune. The easiest way to describe this to someone is to say, “It is when your immune system decides to betrayed you”, but that doesn’t really cover it. They keep asking why it happened? What’s the triggers? Is it genetic? Is it contagious? I guess it will be much easier for me to tell them if I have “cancer” rather than an autoimmune.
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Now whenever I meet new people, I always see how long it takes them to notice I have something or how long it takes me to casually bring it up. It normally starts with me telling them I have “severe allergies” or simply checking if they know about autoimmune by asking, “Have you ever heard about Lupus? I’m kinda like that but it’s different”, and then it progresses from there.
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It was also very difficult for me to introduce myself as just me when I kept thinking that these labels were part of me. They made me who I am. This label is me. But what matter is, our illnesses do not tell people who we are. I’ve got so much more to give and receive in this life. The best gift I could’ve possibly given myself after my diagnosis is the ability to identify and embrace my illness. And I’m so glad I did.
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#journalife #invisibleillness #chronicillness #mentalillness #autoimmune #heartdisease #spoonie
#depression #journalife #invisibleillness #chronicillness #mentalillness #autoimmune #heartdisease #spoonie
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