Self-Destructive Behaviors .
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Habits are developed all throughout our life. It takes many deliberate repetitions to either make or break a habit. I have engaged in self-destructive behaviors since I was a small child. I used to twirl and twist the hair at the top of my head and pull it out when I was very young. .
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However, I remember doing it consciously many times - it wasn’t like it was some automatic behavior that I had no control over, even at such a young age. Shortly after, I began biting my fingernails. This was a bad habit. So many bad tasting liquids were put on my nails. I hated the taste, but I figured out that I could suck it off and then I’d be able to continue the biting. I would bite my nails DEEP. What still gets me to this day is that I suffered through these behaviors - they did not feel good even for a second! What finally got me to stop biting my nails was when I had braces put on my teeth, which I had for about 3 years. I was physically unable to. .
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I thought that after my braces were removed, I would be “cured”. Nope. I began biting my cuticles and the skin around my fingers. This I do quite enthusiastically at times and can end up with all 10 fingers ripped up and bloody if I don’t stop myself. I haven’t seen all of my fingers “clean” for years - I think since I had braces. What you see in the photo is NOTHING. It may look bad to some people, but that is a good day for my fingers - sadly. I despise this ugly habit of mine, yet I don’t speak about it all that much. If I do, it’s usually in retaliation to someone just telling me to stop. I am hoping that by sharing it on a public platform, it will release some of my inner desire to engage in the behavior. I have researched the condition, and it is called dermatophagia. .
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I of course want all of you to chime in on this! Do you have any advice? Do you engage in any self-deprecating behavior, or have you or someone you know successfully reversed a destructive habit?
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