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Yesterday was a beautiful day for me, I felt connected with myself in a loving way. Not even realizing it was #worldmentalhealthday Amidst the bright & beautiful colours you see in these little squares & the smiles on the faces of those around us, here on this platform we call @instagram Let us not forget that there’s a story behind it all. That what we see is always a highlight reel of what people want us to see & what we want to show the world. Everyone has a story; some choose to share, others prefer to keep to themselves.
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You can’t see what’s in the mind & inner struggle doesn’t have a specific look & not all who suffer show their shadows. For so long I hid myself in masks of perfection & smiles, accomplishments, titles & designer items. On the outside I looked like I had it all together, but truthfully I felt broken inside, empty, coasting on auto pilot as if I did’t even exist. Seeking & trying to fulfill this emptiness inside of me.
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I battled depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addiction & self harm (to name a few) At age 15 I tried to take my life, my father found me & I was admitted to a psychiatric ward & put on close watch. I was admitted for attempting suicide, twice. During my stay they hooked me up to so many machines because I was severely underweight & secretly battling anorexia & self harm. After I was released, a week later, I was admitted into a camp for teens with eating disorders. I felt alone, empty, not good enough, unworthy, unloved & abandoned. I felt like a waste of a person & the thoughts in my mind were bigger then me. I was filled with so much darkness & shame. I told myself awful things & saw myself in a dark way, my life, the people around me I hurt & I never let anyone get too close to me.
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I had so many insecurities & shame from what took place in my childhood that it manifested in all my future relationships & they all suffered because of the abuse I experienced as a child & adolescent. All my suffering continued to manifested into my teens & young adult life. I was a mess!! & there was allot of work, allot of inner work that had to be done. [PLEASE CONTINUE IN COMMENTS] 🌈👇🏻
#worldmentalhealthday
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![.
Yesterday was a beautiful day for me, I felt connected with myself in a loving way. Not even realizing it was #worldmentalhealthday Amidst the bright & beautiful colours you see in these little squares & the smiles on the faces of those around us, here on this platform we call @instagram Let us not forget that there’s a story behind it all. That what we see is always a highlight reel of what people want us to see & what we want to show the world. Everyone has a story; some choose to share, others prefer to keep to themselves.
.
You can’t see what’s in the mind & inner struggle doesn’t have a specific look & not all who suffer show their shadows. For so long I hid myself in masks of perfection & smiles, accomplishments, titles & designer items. On the outside I looked like I had it all together, but truthfully I felt broken inside, empty, coasting on auto pilot as if I did’t even exist. Seeking & trying to fulfill this emptiness inside of me.
.
I battled depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addiction & self harm (to name a few) At age 15 I tried to take my life, my father found me & I was admitted to a psychiatric ward & put on close watch. I was admitted for attempting suicide, twice. During my stay they hooked me up to so many machines because I was severely underweight & secretly battling anorexia & self harm. After I was released, a week later, I was admitted into a camp for teens with eating disorders. I felt alone, empty, not good enough, unworthy, unloved & abandoned. I felt like a waste of a person & the thoughts in my mind were bigger then me. I was filled with so much darkness & shame. I told myself awful things & saw myself in a dark way, my life, the people around me I hurt & I never let anyone get too close to me.
.
I had so many insecurities & shame from what took place in my childhood that it manifested in all my future relationships & they all suffered because of the abuse I experienced as a child & adolescent. All my suffering continued to manifested into my teens & young adult life. I was a mess!! & there was allot of work, allot of inner work that had to be done. [PLEASE CONTINUE IN COMMENTS] 🌈👇🏻](https://instagram.fmia1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/vp/9d148bc8690d623f4e3332366bbb79bb/5C4B4CAB/t51.2885-15/e35/42496734_1057517821095462_6334543397289050585_n.jpg?se=7)